Saturday, January 01, 2011

Just Do It

Tonight begins Day One of DH's and my 30 day challenge based on Douglas Brown's book, Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!).  It's quite an inspiring book in the sense that they acknowledge how hard it is (hee hee, I just wrote "hard" - I know, I have a twelve-year-old's sense of humor sometimes most of the time) to have or even want a regular sex life when you're a parent with young kids, but they made a committement to doing it for one hundered (they added in the extra day just for fun).  It is hard (tee hee) to even be relatively awake by the end of the day to want to do more than sleep or just veg in front of the tv so you don't have to even think.  DH and I work with other people's kids all day long - his are in middle school, mine are in preschool.  Then we both are innundated with our own kids as soon as they get home.  And as much as I love them, the boys are eight and both have special needs, the girl is six and has her own set of special needs by virtue of having the world's longest case of PMS.  By the time they go to bed (finally!), I'm spent.  I don't want anyone else touching me.  Or talking at me.  Or needing me.  For ANYTHING.

On the weekends it's a whole different story.  I get to indulge in my favorite activity of all time: sleep!  And I remember:
Sleep is good!
But once I'm well rested, I begin to remember that I actually have another favorite activity I like to do in bed.  On those days (and afternoons and evenings) I actually encourage my DH to come back to bed with me.  We go to bed together at night and enjoy turning to each other touch and caress and . . .

The thing that I have found the most amazing are those times when I have made some kind of deal with DH that ultimately involves me having s-e-x on a weeknight, no matter how tired I am or what kind of day it has been.  Cmon, I'm not the only one who does this, am I?  "Sweetie, if you take care of homework tonight and let me go upstairs for about an hour to chill out, I promise you can <ahem> 'take advantage of me' tonight (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)."  When it comes time to "do the deed," I might start out lying next to him in bed with absolutely no desire for it at all despite the fact that we're both naked.  But then the heat from his body lying so close to mine will soon begin to feel good, and the unmistakable feeling that he is turned on will quickly remind me that I did make this promise, so I'll turn to him and encourage him to roll on top of me (c'mon, it's not like we only do it that way, but the point is I'll be really tired by now and am just thinking about getting it over so we can go to sleep).  This is when the amazing thing occurs: after we get started, no matter how tired or not into it I was at the beginning, I will soon be just as into it as he is!
Ever hear the expression, "Fake it til you make it"?  This is what I have named this phenomenom.

So with that in mind, I found Douglas Brown's book while browsing in a book store with DH one evening.  "Hmmm," I pondered, "'Just do it' seems to make sense.  I wonder HOW they managed it?"  And I started reading.  And I couldn't put it down.  I loved that they made a committment to their sex life.  I loved that they began feeling closer because of it.  And I loved that I knew without even asking that DH would be on board with us trying it.

One hundred days seemed like too much to try out at this point in our lives, but thirty days seemed manageable.  I decided New Year's Day would be the perfect starting point.  

And so this year I have the typical resolutions that most people do:
  1. Eat healthier,
  2. Exercise more,
  3. Take better care of myself by getting a full eight hours of sleep, and . . . . hmmm, there's one more.  What was it again?  Oh yeah, I remember!
  4. Get more sex.       

Do you have any resolutions?  Feel like joining in DH's and my challenge?  Please comment and let me know.  Also check out this blog as another place to share your resolutions.
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Jenn at Sweet T Makes Three said...

Thanks for the follow. Following back!

Joella said...

Sounds like a great book and related resolution! Thanks for linking up my blogshare! :)

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