Sunday, June 29, 2014
It's been a rough year. I have had major clinical depression most of my life, but it has been under control with medication. The depression gradually, insidiously started taking control of my life again about seven months ago. It actually got to the point where DH and my mom took me to the ER for fear that I would harm myself. Yeah, it was bad. As always, I could function really well at work (I'm teaching at a preschool now), but at home, all I wanted to do was sleep. Sleep was my escape. And I wanted to escape pretty much whenever I was not teaching.
So I started therapy again. And got a psychiatrist to adjust my meds - he actually added another one to what I was already taking. In case I ever questioned if depression is a chemical thing, I do not questions it any more. Cognitive Behavior Therapy was new to me, but it definitely helped. However the biggest thing that helped was that new medication. Within a few days of starting it, the weight began lifting off my shoulders.
Know this song? "I can see clearly now the rain is gone . . ." That's what it feels like.
I can function again.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Meatless Monday: Tilapia Baked in Couscous served with brocolli
Tuesday: Beef Stir Fry with onions and string beans
The beef was already cooked and frozen in some kind of sauce (I forget what kind), so I'll just be cooking up the veggies and adding the defrosted beef. I'll be sure to set some of the beef (with the mystery sauce washed off) and string beans aside for Twin A, who does not like sauces or food that is mixed up.
Wednesday: Tuna Noodle Casserole
Easy Peasy! Make boxed mac and cheese, stir in tuna and peas.
Thursday: London Broil served with rice and sugar snap pea
Friday: Shabbat dinner at my parents
Saturday: Mish Mash Leftoverpalooza
Sunday: Dinner at my in-laws'
Friday, March 08, 2013
And if I knew of a twelve-step program that could help me, I would willingly seek out the next available meeting.
I'm addicted to sleep.
I'm not saying this to be funny, or to commiserate with other tired moms out there. I know all of us would love to take a nap, or are tired from being woken up during the night one too many times. But once I started thinking about my need for sleep like an addiction, it really fits.
To test my theory, I copied, pasted, and edited the ten warning signs of alcoholism:
Do you ever sleep after telling yourself you won't?
All the time. I always start the day with the best of intentions, telling myself I won't lay down to take a nap, but sooner or later I do.
Does your sleeping worry your family?
Do you ever forget what you did while you were sleeping?
Obviously not. Woohoo, another question I can say no to. That makes two! However I do almost always forget about everything I have planned when trying to get more sleep. And I do forget everything that I promise the kids or DH in order to be able to sleep for five more minutes.
There. I've answered every question. And I return to the original website to check out what my responses mean with a feeling of dread, and my fears are confirmed when I read, "If you answer even one of these questions with a 'yes,' you may be an alcoholic." Or, in my case, a sleep addict.
And just like a food addict who struggles because food is one of those things you can't live without, I can't go cold turkey to break my addiction to sleep. But sheer will power is not cutting it.
I don't know what to do about this. I thought when I got diagnosed with Narcolepsy so many years ago I would be able to stay awake and alert for longer periods of time, but it's just not happening. But I do know that admitting the problem is the first step in solving it, so that's what I'm doing:
I am Miss Mommy, and I am addicted to sleep.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
And . . .now it's Hanukkah. (Okay, okay, when I started writing this post, it really WAS still Chanuka. I'm keeping the original language for the integrity of the piece. Yeah, the integrity, man!)
We have a fairly strange Hanukah tradition that has developed over time. One night of Hanukka the kids will each get a new pair of pajamas. This year I found each of them a pair for under $5 at one of the local Goodwill stores - SCORE! Our tradition is that whichever night the kids get their new pair of pajamas they rush upstairs to put them on while I make hot chocolate for all of us. As soon as they are changed we all hop in the car to go look at Christmas lights. Yes, I told you it was a strange Hannukkah tradition, but it works for us!
The second night of Hanukkah fell on a Sunday this year. Most Sundays we go to my in-laws for dinner, and this Sunday was no different, which meant we celebrated Chanukkah in front of their Christmas tree. My ILs got around our plea to cut down on the number of gifts they shower on the kids for Christmas by getting them each a present for Chanukah, which means we do NOT need to buy them a present for the night. Win!
Since DH and I are both teachers, we have another tradition that one night of Hanukah the gift will always be a new book for each child. This year DH bought the books at his school's book fair, which meant not only were the prices discounted, the profits of the fair went to his school's library. Win/win!
On the fourth night of Hanukkah (anyone else hearing the music of the "Twelve Nights of Christmas" in their head?) we gave the kids make your own sundaes. We wrapped up a different topping for each child to unwrap and then pulled out the ice cream, whipped cream, bowls, and spoons.
On the fifth night of Chanukkah ("...my true love gave to me...") we gave the kids a gift I made myself (I'm so crafty, I know.) This year, with me subbing most days, I knew there would be days that the kids would get home five to ten minutes before either DH or I got home. In September we gave the kids house keys. For Hanukkah I made them personalized key chains. I bought thin wooden circles at a local craft store (22 cents each) in which I drilled a hole through at the top (go me with my power tools!). After painting each circle a different color, I modge-podged words and pictures that I had cut out from magazines onto each key chain.
Twin A (my video game lover) got a picture of Sonic on one side and words like "clever" and "funny" on the other side. Twin B (currently obsessed with professional wrestling) received a key chain with a personalized paper wrestling championship belt buckle on the one side and the logo of the WWE along with other words that describe him on the other side. The Princess' key chain had her name (with the letters cut out from various magazines) on the one side and then a ton of great descriptive words on the other. I also had to buy key rings and metal clasps for this gift (approximately $3) and some more Modge Podge because I was out (around $6 - but I will be using that bottle for many other crafts, too).
Wood circles = 22 cents/each
Key rings/clasps = $1/each
Amount of Modge Podge used for each = approximately $1/each
I would love to end this section by writing, "The look on the kids' faces when they saw their personalized key chains and realized how much time and effort went into making such a special gift = priceless," but in reality the kids looked at both sides of their key chain for about fifteen seconds each, commented on a couple parts, and then had to be reminded to thank me.
I am going to tell myself that they will appreciate this gift more as they get older. Yeah. They will. I'll just hang on to that idea.
For this night, the kids each received the gift of one-on-one time with the parent of their choice, going or doing whatever they wanted (within monetary reason) some time over winter break. Hopefully this will not be more expensive than I am anticipating.
The seventh night of Hanukkah fell on Shabbat (Friday night). This is when my whole extended family gets together to celebrate Hannukkah. My parents and my sister buy presents for the kids, so DH and I are off the hook for that night. This year the adults did a pollyanna among ourselves for the first time, which was WONDERFUL!!!
DH and I had talked about getting the kids a "big" gift for the last night of Chanukkah, but it turns out his definition of a "big" gift meant a "BIG GIFT" where my definition had really meant "big gift," and since he's the one who did the shopping for it, I lost out. So much for any money we saved being frugal for the other nights.
P.S. Bonus points to anyone who noticed who many different spellings of Hanukkah I used when writing this post. Record your answer in the comments section along with any frugal gifts YOU have given your own kids.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Summertime is fabulous, but this one kind of sucked.
|We got to play with adorable |
cats like this when volunteering
for P.A.L.S - how great is that?!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Milestone birthdays and me do not seem to mix very well. When I turned 30, my twin boys had both recently come home from the NICU. We had the extended family come over, as is traditional in my family, and a cake (I think), but most of the evening was spent passing my beautiful boys around and ooing and aaahing over them. Sleep deprivation and new mom hormones combined, and the evening was a blur.
Earlier this month I turned 40. Not only was it the second night of Passover (which normally would have been spent participating in the Second Night Seder at my synagogue) but I was sick. Apparently now that I had pneumonia in October, every head cold has the potential of settling in my lungs and becoming pneumonia all over again. I worked hard (a lot of rest, liquids, decongestants, antibiotics, and two different inhalers) and I did NOT end up in the hospital again, but it still took me a good two weeks to get over. I didn't even get a cake this year, and only my mom (who stopped by on the day of my birthday to bring me a present from both my parents but stayed well at the other end of the couch to avoid getting what I had) sang me "Happy Birthday."
Around that time, DH (who is a full year younger than me) started talking about inviting a few friends over to celebrate his birthday which is at the end of this month. He assured me that he would take care of everything. He also told me that this was going to be a "I'm not yet 40" party (nice, isn't he.) Fast forward to this weekend. I asked him to make me a list of everyone he had invited and show me who has said they are coming. The list of RSVPs is already well over twenty! When I asked him if he was planning to barbecue, he infomred me that he thought "we" would just do a whole bunch of appetizers like "we" do for New Year's Eve. Of course, that is the royal we.
So this week, in addition to everything else I need to do, I will be compiling a list of appetizers, shopping for the ingrediants, and then making anything I can make ahead of time. I will post recipes after I have finished compiling them.
And after his "I'm not 40!" party is over, I am going to start planning my do-over 40th birthday party. Because I so have it coming to me!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
- Transferring the laundry into the dryer
- Washing the dishes in the sink
- Turning on the dishwasher (yes, we have that many dishes that the dishwasher is full AND the sink is filled with dishes)
- Clearing off the dining room table so the kids can do their homework
- Finishing yet another in the never-ending pile of papers I must write to reactivate my teaching certification
- Sorting through the mountain of papers that seem to multiply overnight
- Fixing the cover on the loveseat
- Vacuuming the living room
- Cleaning the bathroom
- Making my bed
- Sorting the laundry to put another load in
- Going through the kids' clothes to pull out the heavy winter stuff and the stuff that is too small (both of which the boys keep trying to wear)
- Cleaning up from my Jackson Pollock-inspired driveway painting I did with the two boys I teach three afternoons a week
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