Sleep is a Drug

And it's really, really addictive.

I'm so pissed at myself.  It is almost 1:30 and I have wasted most of this day yet again.

I thought that as soon as the kids went back to school I would be able to get so much accomplished around here.  I have to complete twenty thousand continuing education hours (give or take) in order to reactivate my teaching certification.  I figured it wouldn't be easy, but there are a number of different on-line, self-paced cources I could push through, and I gave myself the goal of completing it all this month so I could begin subbing come October.  It might not be realistic, but I figured hey, the kids leave the house at 8:30 and don't come back until 3:30.  That gives me seven hours to work each day.  Even if I took a few breaks, did some stuff around the house, whatever, I would still have a good chunk of time to focus on the course work.



Not an actual picture of me sleeping
because really, how would I do that?!!



NOT IF I SLEEP UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK!!!!!

Yeah, I got up at 6:30.  I took a shower, got dressed, even made my bed.  I went downstairs and helped the kids complete all their morning routine while I also ate breakfast.  I even walked them to the bus stop and was all social with the other moms.  But as soon as I started walking back home, all I could think about was taking a little nap.  I tried fighting it.  I took my Narcolepsy medication (which, while not a stimulant, works to keep me in the awake/alert stage so I don't feel tired all the time), tried reading a book, but the siren call of my pillow became too much. 

My annoyingly loud alarm clock

I told myself the first lie:  I'll set my alarm and get up at 9:00.  A lot of people start their work day at 9.  And my annoyingly loud alarm clock start beeping and booping and whatever else it does from midway down the stairs, where I had thrown it to force myself to start walking downstairs to get it.  And then I told myself my second lie: It felt like I only just fell asleep.  I wouldn't be such a big deal if I set it for 9:30 and slept a little more.  And on, and on, and on, until now it is 1:30, I have TWO hours left, and I'm so mad at myself I could spit.  [Though I never really got that expression - why would I spit just because I'm mad?  And since I'm mad at myself, would I try spitting AT myself?  Hmmm.....]

The fifteen minutes I allotted myself are almost up, so I'll have to think about my plan for tomorrow and the rest of this month/year/whatever later.  I better come up with a good plan because while sleeping all day is great (and I could go back to sleep right now if I allowed myself to) I'm falling behind in everything I was hoping to accomplish!

And this is only my third day on my own! 

In Ten Minutes

In ten minutes the house will awaken to the sounds of three excited kids getting ready for the first day of school.

In five minutes those kids will be running down the stairs, intent on being the first to turn on the tv, shocked to see me downstairs already, happy to get the promised smoothies for breakfast but totally pissed to not be able to have "electronic time" until after they finish their morning list of things to do.

In one hour and fifteen minutes, I will be walking those three kids to the bus stop, forcing them to pose for pictures as they board that bus for the first day of school.

And in about one hour and thirty minutes, I will be walking back to this house, alone, ready to start the next chapter of my life.

I am officially unemployed. 

I guess the better term in "underemployed" but whatever.

I will still be teaching Religious School (but only one session instead of two) and Hebrew School (but only on one day instead of two) and I do have one tutoring student so far, but besides from that, I've got nothing.  And it was my own choice.  I'm the one who decided to try to get back into the elementary classroom.  I'm the one who told the preschool last year that I would not be returning, knowing that I if I did not get hired to teach full time I would have to be available to sub.  It was my choice.  How was I to know that all school budgets would be slashed this year due to lack of state funding?  How was I to know that any chance I had of an actual job opening within a school was going to be filled by teachers that currently hold a contract? 

I guess I could chalk it all up to bad timing.

The worst part for me is that instead of being able to try to sub right from the start of this day, I will find myself working feverishly on my on-line, self-paced courses so I can complete enough hours to reactivate my teaching certification.  I had misread the information about Act 48, mistakenly thinking that because I wasn't teaching in public school I did not have to finish the one hundred twenty hours of continuing education that I needed to do.  Therefore my certification is officially inactive.  So as soon as I get back from bringing the kids to their bus stop, I will begin completing my first thirty-hour course as quickly as possible.  Fun, fun, fun.

And it all begins in ten minutes.